this all was only wishful thinking...

imaginedsoldier:

e-seal-deactivated20210319:

sentient-carrot:

imaginedsoldier:

I think love bombing is one of the most frightening and least recognized abuse and manipulation tactics that is commonly employed. It can go unrecognized because the victim will integrate that behavior into their understanding of the offending party, and even years down the line can be overlooked as an early sign of manipulative tendencies in an abusive person. When it is recognized, it engenders hypervigilance and difficulty accepting help and affection. Every gift is a Trojan horse and every invitation is suspect. Every helping hand has claws.

What’s love bombing?

From this article:

“Love bombing is the practice of overwhelming someone with signs of adoration and attraction — think flattering comments, tokens of affection, or love notes on the mirror, kitchen table, or windshield, and you’re beginning to get the picture. It’s flowers delivered at work with hearts dotting the i’s in your name. It’s texts that increase in frequency as they increase in romantic fervor. It’s surprise appearances designed to manipulate you into spending more time with the bomber — and, not coincidentally,  less time with others, or on your own.”

To add to this- Love bombing originated in association with cults in the 1980s. While it is a tactic that is obviously extremely suited to a romantic endeavor, it was initially wielded by organizations with the intent to quickly ingratiate themselves with prospective members.

Indeed the tools of flattery, eager interest, constant attention, and rapid placing of someone on a pedestal work devilishly effectively in the hands of cults, social clubs, and even toxic friend groups. We want to believe we are important and special, and the experience of bunch of people vying for your time and attention will quickly erode at your ability to maintain a level head and will make you pliant before you know it.

What is insidious about it in a romantic context is how quickly one becomes addicted to the flurry of love and affection. Any reduction of that prompts the victim to wonder how they can return to that halcyon stage of the relationship before they lost their grace. You are drawn in, separated from other sources of affection and affirmation, made dependent on one person for your self-esteem needs, then the supply is cut short.

You may notice that this mimics the cycle of abuse in its isolation, high-and-low cycling, and enforced helplessness of the victim. What especially sucks is how you won’t even notice its happening because of the manufactured power differential. You just know the person who gave you your first real experience of love is suddenly cold and you just want to make them love you again.

(via cinderthemechanic)

lilpwussyboi:

dadhopper:

She’s so broke

im not even gonna ask who bc i already know its me

(via cinderthemechanic)

aplpaca:

kinda funny when english teachers say stuff like “i can tell if you didnt read the book” or “i can tell when people bs their paper”

no you cant.  you can tell when people are bad at bs-ing their paper.  i didnt even read the sparknotes and i barely skimmed the wikipedia and you gave me an A.  you kneel before my throne unaware that it was born of lies

(via cinderthemechanic)

Boyfriend photobombs girlfriend with engagement ring for a Month without her knowing

enby-entity24:

totalinsanity4:

baconandvibrators-blog:

catchymemes:

Ok but my favorite thing about this photo series is WHY he was doing all this.

Ahhhhhhhh this is adorable

Awwww

(Source: facebook.com, via cinderthemechanic)

local-weirdo:

exigencelost:

local-weirdo:

exigencelost:

redstitcher:

exigencelost:

exigencelost:

The problem with having lesbian moms is you try to be super cool and cut all your hair off and buy a leather jacket and wear boots all the time and then you go to some event in your neighborhood and all these women three times your age start cooing “oh you look JUST like your mother when she was your age, my gosh what a blast from the past, oh I just love your hair”

And let me be very clear, okay: I’ve seen pictures of my mom when she was my age, and she looked cooler than I ever will. My mom had exactly my fashion sense except she was two point five degrees butcher and habitually took over government buildings. My other mom was about six degrees butcher than that, and SHE had a motorcycle. Both of them have been charged with felony arson. I’m the prep member of my family and there’s nothing I can do about it.

Please tell me at some point in your life some dick was like “we’re calling your parents over your behavior” only to have a bigger, more badass version of you come strolling in

Look obviously that happened many many times, usually with misogynist or ableist teachers. But I have a BETTER story than that, which is that when I was in 3rd grade, I went to this tiny alternative hippy school—it was a regular public school, it was just small and staffed/run by hippie communists—and my 3rd grade teacher was a woman who had been in an organization with my mother, and they had done direct action together more than a few times. We’ll call her D.

One day I was sitting in D’s class, eight years old and bored out of my mind, and I scratched my name into the back of my plastic chair with a rock. Was this reasonable behavior? No. Why did I do it? Only the gods can say. I don’t actually remember doing the scratching, I just remember looking at the rock in my hand and my name on the chair and going, “HUH. That’s not good.” 

So obviously I got caught, bc I couldn’t reasonably convince anyone that I wasn’t the one who had done it, since it was MY NAME, and as punishment for this act of arbitrary vandalism I was sentenced to recess detention for two weeks. It was October so this included Halloween. Halloween, to be clear, is a high holy day in San Francisco, and I was devastated to miss the informal festivities that would be occurring at recess that day, and I wept and wailed about this at home for some time until my mother decided that this was disproportionate punishment and took it into her own hands to do something about it.  

So my mom walks into D’s office on a day when my mother does not have to be at work at a scheduled time, but D has to get her students from the yard in about ten minutes, and my mom sits down and says to her old friend and comrade, “Miranda is really upset about having detention on Halloween.”

And D explains to my mother why the detention was issued, what the circumstances were, and my mother nods, and listens, and doesn’t argue, and doesn’t show any sign of getting up from her chair. And just says again “She’s really upset about having detention on Halloween.” 

And D looks at my mother, and she looks at the clock in her office, which is telling her that she has to be on the yard in 2 minutes now, and then looks at my mother again, who shows no sign of having anywhere to be, my mother with whom D has organized and successfully executed multiple sit-ins and takeovers of government & corporate offices, and D says, “Okay, she doesn’t have to have detention on Halloween.”

Tell your moms that we love them.

You can express your love by donating to their organization, Prison Radio, which works relentlessly on a shoestring budget to amplify the voices of incarcerated people in the United States!

https://donate.prisonradio.org

An important update!

(via cinderthemechanic)

comradekatara:

“sokka’s master” is such an iconic episode the a-plot is about sokka getting a dope ass sword the b-plot is about iroh getting swole and the c-plot is about sokka’s friends just sitting there talking about how much they love sokka. a perfect episode from start to finish

(via cinderthemechanic)

uchithot:

mjalti:

daddy issues make u a people pleaser but mommy issues make u like. a sociopath

(via goddamngallagher)

antifamoshe:

queeranarchism:

smackmybitchup:

mental illness hasn’t been destigmatised but commercialised

Sooo true.

You can’t have serious conversations about your mental illness and you can’t even mention having one of the more stigmatized mental illnesses.

But you can endure a long line of ads recommending medications, self-care products, gym memberships, self-help books, online seminars, crystals, plants, sunlight lamps and other overpriced shit that’s supposed to be good for your mental health but is mainly just there to take advantage of people who are at a vulnerable place in life. Disgusting.

Marta Russel called this “handicapitlaism” and identified it as one of the traps of bourgeoisie/free market disability rights activism 

(via cinderthemechanic)

jesusfuckingchrist:

cemeterything:

girls don’t want boys, girls want to find a mysterious egg in the forest that they take home where it hatches a dragon which they raise and form an unbreakable bond of friendship to last a lifetime with

and also a sword

(via tinyemobitch)